March 3rd, 2009

The Real Me

Five Things Meme

Via shadowfae

If you would like me to give you five words, comment below - then elaborate in your own LJ. No tagging, just an offer if ya' care to.


1. Expatriates: I've always admired the bravery of someone willing to elsewhere -- someplace unlike where they came from -- and try to make their way in a new environment. Adaptability is impressive. The fact that everyday would be a challenge and involve a learning curve. I hate that I've always found ties and rationalizations not to do it on my own. I've just lived this through others. I turn 40 next year. I think it's time enough to experience this one on my own. Why stay when those I did have concern about are grown folk. And I can fly back if my mom, brother B or my sister need me.

2. African-American Wicca: This being chosen reminds me I need to clean up my interests list. No, I'm not disinterested in those African-Americans practicing Wicca -- not the case at all. I don't practice, study nor have the same interest in Wicca I used to. Truth be told, for myself, I never felt a place there during the time that I did study it. But to each her own; I love the creativity of it and the individualism. But I wanted a place. And, more truth, for those with African blood it seems there's almost a third rail beneath the skin that we can tap almost at will. It doesn't take much energy, conjuring, ritual at all. My aunt Bertha is there, kicking ass and doing her thing in Louisiana. 'The Sisters' are still out in the bayou brushing their long black hair. It's all just. THERE. I can't explain it. Not that others can't train themselves to get there quickly. I just found 'training' was just...anathema to my tapping in intuitively, if that makes sense. The only reason I'm not better is my own blocks, not lack of training. They're there. Just smiling and waiting, as if they're on the other side of a window shaking their heads that I can't figure out that I just need to put my hands out and open it.

3. Flatulence: This is how I wake up. A huge loud fart -- even before my alarm goes off. I wake myself up. Sometimes I go back to sleep after this, sometimes not. I've always been gassy. I've always found farts funny. It works out. And I'm worse on the medicine I'm on. I don't do it in class and I wonder if I'm worse for clenching my cheeks and trying to wait out the 2 hours in a small room. I make up for it after class. I make sure I flush as I'm peeing to try to cover the sound. I'm sure it works as well as Peter Griffin coughing to cover his farts at a show (I have my own issues with Family Guy. But on occasion, well, they get it so wrong it's RIGHT. At least for me. tee, hee).

4. Eris: I love chaos I can't be blamed for. Or maybe I should say, I'm always looking to... qualify or quantify chaos in my own and others' lives. I want to find the center of it. It's not always bad when bad things happen. More like: "Oh! Oh, dear: Here we go! Hang on!" Going back to the original Greek Eris (who, I think, is less playful than Discordian Eris), she didn't start wars but loved to be there shrieking an extending their length any way she could. I like the more playful Eris. I have my own vision of her. We make the gods more like ourselves until they show us otherwise. I haven't heard any negative feedback in thinking of her as the force that makes you slip on a banana. And while on your back gazing at the sky, you get the answer to something you'd been pondering for years; just before the ambulance comes and you tell the paramedics you can't feel your legs. Oh, don't get all morbid. You walk again after two years of rehab.

5. Mental Illness: I love the idea of it. I find it interesting what thought patterns and behaviors are pathologized one decade and merely odd the next -- and vice versa. I'm also fascinated by what works to help those labeled as mentally ill. There are folks working on small scales who have done AMAZING things. However, society just isn't structured for it and so the answer comes down to: we don't have the time or money to figure it out. Dope them up in a way that makes it seem like their feeling less pain and isolation and fuggedaboudit. As long as they LOOK functional.