July 5th, 2008

Coffee Squirrel

The Fourth

This is my least favorite holiday ever. Even when I have family and friends around I dislike it. I don't like crowds. I hate the smell of gun powder. I hate the idiots setting off fireworks near/in dry fields. I have an exaggerated startle response and so I hate jumping at loud sharp noises every few minutes.

I am not a patriot but not a hater. I know what we've got here is better than what most in the world have. I am simply not a nationalist of any kind. Sort of disturbs my sense of ambiguity. I can't give anything or anyone the sense of unquestioning loyalty. Even when given wholeheartedly, I always question loyalties. I think the loyalty I question the least is to my mom -- but she hasn't given me reason to, really. I guess it's my own issue that when I think patriotism I reflexively think 'unquestioning defense of'.

Also, it gets too freaking hot most of the time. Today wasn't too bad, though. I am not nor have ever been a sunworshipper. I'm not a beach person, unless it's a cool, craggy and rocky beach. Otherwise I can take it or leave it; the beach that is. Yet, somehow I am enchanted by the desert. Yeah. La, la. ::giggles:: Y'all don't care. I am glad I didn't have to worry about work or school.

And I did two loads in the dishwasher and, though it's late, I may do a load or two of clothes and bag those I want to donate. I'm sick of the clutter denial engenders. I will =not= get back into those old pants if I haven't in 8 years. That is all.