October 10th, 2007

Coffee Squirrel

Drive By Update

 1. Hit a very depressive and angry state (several reasons that I won't state here) and could do nothing but sleep, drag myself to where I needed to be and watch 5 episodes in a row of "Oz" just to get my mind to disengage from reality. I kept saying I'd only watch one, then Adebesi would drop his towel, or Said would say something cool and I'd have to watch more...::giggles::

2. Because of the above, I was up until 4am doing homework after work on Sunday night. I didn't finish.

3. I did, however, get up early and drag myself to school before classes and =finished= it, handing all the work in.

4. I now have a deal where I try to finish all my homework during the week and leave any light reading or reading for pleasure for the weekend. I can't deal with trying to do assignments at work. The job is stressful enough.

5. Having my family around all the time/living with my family was a double-edged sword, but it was a sword I knew how to weild. I have no housekeeping skills. I have no time management skills (though, see 4 -- I'm working on it). I also have no social skills. Eric is family, and while schizophrenia doesn't preclude social prowess, he's got no skills, either. I must work on these things before the loneliness makes me cut someone up and freeze their body for stew. Then again, that wouldn't happen: it would require my learning to cook. Having just one of these skills missing wouldn't matter so much. If I were out more, I wouldn't care how the place looks. If I could manage time and take care of the place, I wouldn't =care= if I went out at all -- that's mostly where I want to be. More of a clean and tidy outcome. People are not clean and tidy. They do what they will. They come and go -- mostly go. But at least my home would be a sanctuary rather than a source of shame.

6. I am doing better in Biology than in Chemistry, though I have a stronger =interest= in chemistry. I'm just not getting it! Damn it. I'm working on that, too. Pop quiz: why is a water molecule polar? I know. I'm a dumbass. I didn't know it was those damn extra four negative electrons that make it all wiggy until now.

7. It made me smile that I was nudged. Thank you!

-Lula.