||[Nov. 16th, 2005|09:56 am]
|||||"Another Day in Paradise" -Phil Collins (help me)||]|
Wednesday! The week is halfway over. I still haven't recovered from last weekend's moving extravaganza. I'm gonna to some of theperfumer's extreme self-care methods this weekend and just relax and do some writing this weekend. I might even draw a bit. The toxins of this week must be expelled.
Thing is, these are all things to learn from. The move was just something that clarified things for me. I like being clear. I'm an experiential person and I had to do that to know my limits. I don't have many. It's good to know where they are, though. Now I know the parameters to set when agreeing to something like that. It's actually helpful, as I have decision-making issues. This lessens the scope.
I'm reaching a similar limit with this job. The one co-worker left who was fully competent and pulled her weight has been off all week so far through no fault of her own. Dumbass has been forced to pull up her game, but it's still been trying as her game at its height is, well... Anyway, this all seems irrelevant to the management here. There always seems to be more pressing issues than the fact that there are only two people handling the orders that could come from a couple thousand technicians in the field. Yadda, yadda. Doesn't matter. The point is, I've given no one reason to doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion. And perhaps that's the problem. I need to figure out what I want and go for it with the same fervor I'm willing to whore out my time for others. It's obvious that it's not meant much to those 'in power'. We're all here to make a check. asianrenegade once brought up a good point. He wondered why when folks heard: "By any means necessary" they assumed violence. One can use other things like endurance, tenacity and humor to get to where one needs to be. I'm taking deep breathing and controlling thoughts seriously. And you've got to be serious about humor. Who can be angry watching Earl do the robot at Joy's wedding?
Dumbass changed the radio station to smooth jazz. I asked the cow earlier if she wanted to come and change the station. She doesn't. I find a station I enjoy and now the retarded heffalump switched it. I'ma cut a bitch up in here! LOL! I'm picturing the shock on her face as I pull the knife. This is making me laugh harder than it should. I'm picturing her fall back and the chair breaking under her weight. I run to lock the door before my supervisor can get to the room. Damn. Am I getting to vivid for you? I could get worse. But I think I'll just save it for myself. I watched The Devil's Rejects and am still smiling about it. Feel good movie of the summer. No, I knew what they were trying to do. And ultimately Zombie made a love story/family story. There's even a montage of good times at the end. Anyway, My comedy tends toward the black and the absurd.
Thus ends my entry, replete with aids for the pop culture impared. Oh, snap! This bitch is forcing me to listen to Phil Collins. It's *on* now! Don't worry: I'm not going to gut her like a trout. I'm just going to imagine it. And I'm going to make extra sure I pack my CD player and headphones tomorrow. I'll just watch the phone to make sure I see it light up if a call is coming. I'm gonna get another job before this kills me...If you hear shrill hysterical laughter on the wind, that's just me trying to make it through the day. I think I'll be better once I catch up from the sleep deprevation from this week. Oy!