September 24th, 2005

Coffee Squirrel

Not much of anything; Just checking in

So. I (finally) mailed off Eric's form for property tax refund money. It should come in time to be useful. I also mailed a snail mail note to hq447. She being my candy sugar-mama for the moment. I mailed back my Netflix movie. The next one will be "Genghis Blues" which is a film by two guys I went to grade school with. Oscar-nominated bastards. Where did they get their drive?

theperfumer got a writing gig. So cool (So, will Ms. professional writer have time to go to the Museum of Russian Art still?). Now that I've got a bit more time, I should get my crap organized and try to get some practice by writing more regularly. I'm so not a time-management type, but it's a learned behaviour so I can change, right? Right. It's one of the Capricorn traits I *didn't* get, that organization thing. Of course, I'm going to use the upcoming move as an excuse to put that off. At least I know myself. I am the Procrastinator. I'll be back. Much later. After I write a note to red_sparrow_17 that I've been putting off. Not because I don't want to contact him. I'm just a lazy sod after getting home from work. Sue me.

And happy belated, twink_q. I hope to see you at the Women's Conference! *grin*

Now, here's hoping all this is getting me closer to New Zealand. But first, school. *shudder* I hope everyone doesn't stare as the old saggy dwarf enters the classroom. Perhaps I'll get back into abusing the drink agian for some needed confidence. I always speak up less hesitantly with a White Russian in my hand. No intervention needed. I've gone ages without drinking. I know when I'm using something and when it's using me. Sheesh, I don't know what's going to happen. But I'm just going to plow through. I've decided on a trip to Europe next summer as a reward for the first couple of quarters of school. The Netherlands for Eric. Perhaps stalk -er- *visit* a few people there. Denmark for me. I'm sort of wanting to see Finland, too for some reason. But maybe I'll just hit the UK again and visit my old pen pal and his family. I met them when I went over in 1999 -- my promise to myself fulfilled: get over to Europe before the year 2000). I had been writing back and forth with the guy since I was 11 or 12-years-old. When we met in person, it was like we had grown up together. He hugged me and lifted me off the ground. I met his lady and his bouncy blonde daughter. He can finally meet Eric.

All this is after convergence, of course. I'm going to try to throw a little party w/vaslittlecrow after getting my mag together in my free time. I've been doodling pictures of Eric. He's not a great model. He paces and has to move every 10 minutes to take a swig of his beer or stub out a hand-rolled cigarette. What can you do? Perhaps in Eugene, I'll find a more willing model.

Eugene. One more month. Lower rent. Being a student again. I'm digging it more and more. I've got a list of places to go to from the girl at the coffee shop I worked at. She was born and raised in Eugene. Focus, Lula: Eugene, school, Convergence, Europe, complete nursing school, New Zealand. In that order. Y'all think I can do it? Why am I asking? It's a weakness of mine to need reassurance. *shrug* It's already done. See you in Aukland! Maybe I'll bounce over to Australia while I'm down there and meet and marry Noah Taylor. Google him, bitches. Rent his movies. He's my hero. I'm out, now. Eric's waiting for me to come home. And I have tenative plans with my Clayton tonight. I haven't seen him in ages (not since I had free cable for a few months and got hooked on "Battlestar Galactica" *snort*). I'll buy him a drink and steal a cigarette from him. He's pining over his ex. I can't imagine how hard it is for him. Grief is everywhere. They dated off and on since he was 13-years-old. She finally didn't think he'd make a good dad or provider (are we in the year 2005?). I don't get it. He's goofy, immature and occasionally irresponsible. But he's *young*! He'd also move heaven and earth for someone he cares about. And if I died now, I'd bribe whatever powers that be -- by whatever currency they use -- to come back as his kid (my brothers have kids already, so I can't come back and have them as my dad). He'd be *present*. That's more important than being perfect. He is 23 now, I think. You can't easily break that bond. Poor, broken git. He's volunteered at the firehouse in Vadnais Heights for a while. He needs the hours so he can become a "real" fireman. I don't think I've known any firemen before. He went to his first fire a while ago. They took a donated house and burned it to the ground. He was amazed at the heat. "Fire buuuurns!" I reminded him in a goofy voice. We both laughed.

I wish him luck and will never forget how fabulous he made my stint with the old office. Before they fired me, he was one of the only reasons to smile on the way to work. He's so young and goofy and has pretty Ocealot(sp?) eyes. I can't wait to go away and miss him (and all my Minnesota friends) then come back next summer and feel the full force of how much I'll have thought of him over our time apart. That's what traveling is all about, right?
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