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June 12th, 2005 - This is Lula — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Angelic Fruitcake

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June 12th, 2005

father's day [Jun. 12th, 2005|10:58 am]
Angelic Fruitcake
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |hum of fans]

dad's are important. too important to be taken lightly. i wish they didn't take themselves lightly. it's stupid. i suppose they feel that in this age, they have no place. but they do. i wish more had the balls to stick around and get to know their offspring. i wish the ones who do stick around were actually *available* and responsive, you know?

i'm sending a late father's day gift to my brother. he's a fabulous dad. he and little d__ (not so little and entering high school next year) are great together. they play. they have talks. she's so much a part of him that *his* friends, when she's around, call her "security". she gets protective of her dad. if he's playing dominos and someone else talks about her dad's skills, they're likely to get a bop on the head. she can back it up, too: all of 14 and closing in on five foot ten (i tell you, i'm a freak of nature. height runs in my family, but runs away from me). she'll yell: "leave my dad alone!". and of course b__ will sit back and smile with pride at his little big girl. my other brothers are dads, too. but they're no good at it. hey, just coz their blood relatives doesn't mean that i can't see the truth.

there was an article talking about the 'fact' that there's an imagined glass ceiling for women and that they'd get just as far as men if they were more willing to "sacrifice". well, what does it say about these "men" that they'll sacrifice time with their family for an SUV or a bonus at work to buy more stuff they don't need? i love the idea of househusbands. men have a lot to give to kids, if they're willing.

i've been considering all the different reasons and ways people become parents. it's just a flashing thought, but would being bored with oneself count as a valid reason? i could have a kid and teach it to go out and kick ass and learn all the languages i wanted to but feel to old to concquer at this point. there is something about this generational thing. eric wouldn't be against it. i think that as the kid gets older, eric would have more to give. but initially it would be all me. he hasn't got much experience with kids. i can change a diaper and make a kid laugh while doing it. i got my nephew to repeat "you're FOUL!" as i changed his diaper. i don't think he got that i was talking about him. he is only one and a half. tee, hee. no. in the end, i suppose it would be torturing a kid to have one as i live now, eh? *shrug* just a passing thought.
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leaving [Jun. 12th, 2005|11:11 am]
Angelic Fruitcake
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |hum of fans]

anthony_arndt is leaving for russia. aedh_rua is leaving. they're both men i admire and wish i could be. yeah, i secretly wish i was a man. just for a day, though. just because i don't know what it would mean to be able to kick ass on my own. to give that "man look", you know? when threatened or annoyed just giving a look and the other person backs down. wait. moms have that look, too. perhaps i don't need to change gender. i'm tired. i haven't been sleeping well of late. errands to run. things to do. just thinking about men today.

perhaps tomorrow i'll write about women and their power. maybe. if i remember. i'm in a fog. i'll miss both these men though i didn't have regular time with them. i wish them both the best.
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clean [Jun. 12th, 2005|12:23 pm]
Angelic Fruitcake
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |hum of fan]

it was suggested to me many times that i take a martial arts class. even eric thinks i'd be okay at it. he's lost a lot of his old refelxes, but when he takes a moment to teach me something, i see it in him. i know if he took a class they'd come back. muscles remember.

i have to go home and clean house now. perhaps that'll break me out of my funk. i am less of a grammar nazi when i'm tired. i won't go back and edit, though. it is what it be.

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