March 22nd, 2005

Coffee Squirrel

back in the sick of it

brian was nice enough to pick me up from the bus station. i returned to st paul to discover i was approved for the state subsidised insurance at $5 a month premium. i am pleased. i also found i can get a $1,000 life insurance policy from my bank at no cost. i signed up for it. just have to mail off the paper work. mundane, but good news. dealing with my brother's death just set in relief all the things one doesn't think about -- what you leave for others to deal with when you die. my mom's going to be paying for the service for months.

i caught my nephew's cold before i left. fun. i took generic nyquil and zoned out most of the bus ride back up here, but didn't sleep. i'm at the employment office to get a bus card and check in on things. i called the temp agency and they said that it was bad timing to be out of town because they just sent a couple of folks out for a customer service and data entry gig last week. i was annoyed. as if anyone plans for a death in the family. i know he didn't mean it that way, but he could have worded it differently. in other words, they have no work for me.

my sinuses feel painfully dried out yet congested (?). i have a headache. my eyes are going to pop out of their sockets. but i had to get out today. i live with a chain smoker, but never get sick until i leave town. go figure. must get ecchinacia (sp). i tried to get some "airborne" but it was sold out for 3 weeks at my walgreens.

it still seems unreal. my brother's gone. but it's also weirdly motivating. six years and i'll be the age he was when he died. i still have no clue where life's going to take me. i still have no real calling to any field or place. i still haven't built my own family outside of blood relatives. i don't mean having kids. just eric and me.

well, i should go. the guy who was supposed to give me a bus card isn't here. i have to go. i'm tired. i may stopped at wendy's. then i'll go home. clean out the air filter. sleeeeeeeep.
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