October 19th, 2004

Coffee Squirrel

Ups and Downs

i met with one of the ladies at "women venture". she was really encouraging and gave me a hug when i left (?). i normally hate getting pumped up about something because there's the ultimate let down. but i have to change my attitude about that. even if the let down comes, i have to see if i can glean something from the experience.

i have one idea for a business that the lady liked a lot. i'm not going to mention it here. it could get co-opted. she says that others will come up with it, though, if i don't do anything within 20 months or so. we talked about my pitiful money situation and what i can do about it. she suggested going down to one job and building up a writing portfolio and sending things out. she got me to talk about my fears about claiming that title for myself -- how it feels false sometimes and how i've never had a card with the word "writer" under my name. "why should you feel false?" she asked rightly. "you have a degree in writing. use it, even if you haven't been published yet. you can call yourself a writer."

i'm paraphrasing, but that's pretty much what she said. i'm going to call myself to task on that matter and get some cards made. i'm also going to do write-ups of both the coffee shop and the clothing store that employ me and send it to a local paper like "the villager" or "avenues" or something. one of the little neighborhood papers. can't hurt to get my name out there. and even if they decide against my work, i'll have some completed pieces for a portfolio. that can't hurt. i'm actually allowing myself to get excited about this. that makes me nervous. but i'm also pleased because i made some use of this day off from both jobs.

i also now feel i have the strength to quit the coffee shop job. i'll still go there a couple times a week. and i'll be giving the owner money rather than taking it away. it will be amicable. i just hate feeling like i let people down. but after letting her know i'm leaving, it'll be cake. the last two weeks of a job -- when you quit and aren't fired -- are the best, most fun, most exhilarating weeks ever.

well. better get cracking. i have work to do: design a card, write a sketch of what i'm going to say about the coffee shop and the clothing store. keep eric entertained. fun day. tee, hee.

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